Overthinking In The Times Of Google

Me: (suddenly wakes up early morning on Sunday)

Me: (groggily) What’s the time? Only 7.00… Hmm.. Might as well get up early now that I’m awake..

Me: (turns to the side, and suddenly clutches stomach) Ow!

(Pain in lower right side abdomen)

Me: Maybe it will pass. Will wait for a minute or two.

(After two minutes)

Me: Ow!

Me: (suddenly realizing something) Why is it hurting at such a specific point? Lower right-side… Appendix? Is that hurting? Have I got appendicitis? No wait! That’s an over-reaction. I can’t even remember whether it is supposed to be on the left side or right. Let me Google it… No… Then I’ll start reading about all the symptoms and assume that I have a tumor!

Me: (after a minute) Don’t be silly. I am educated, and well aware that Google is not a doctor. And surely, I have some restraint. There’s no need to see the reason of symptoms. Just check what side the appendix is on.

(Tries to get up. More pain).

Me: Okay. So, it’s a shooting kind of pain in a very specific part of the abdomen. There’s no need to worry even if it’s appendicitis. That’s pretty common, and has been taken care of by doctors for years. It’s just a simple operation.

(Conjures up a picture of the doctor reassuring that the operation won’t take long. Immediately follows a picture of knife and stitches)

Me: Okay, stop overreacting. It’s a simple enough thing. Loads of people get it done. And it’s not like I’ll be able to feel anything. But it would be local anesthesia, right? I’ll be awake. I’ll still know that I’m being cut up…

(Takes a deep breathe. More pain).

Me: Mum had woken up from anesthesia when she had a tonsils operation as a child! What if the anesthesia stops working in the middle of the operation? Now, really! Appendicitis operation is not supposed to take that long! And that was decades ago! I’m sure there’s been progress in medical science to ensure nothing like that happens!

(Wonders whether to ask a doctor friend about the details. Wonders how long the hospital stay would be. Probably a day at most? Wonders about taking care of stitches. A large knife looms up in the mind).

Me: (Tells self): You are a grown up! Act like it! You are supposed to be mature enough to handle situations like this. What about when you’ll be living on your own! You were looking forward to proving that you’re an adult, right?

Me: (Continuing rant against self) This staying at home has had a bad effect on you! You weren’t as silly when you were staying in hostel.

(Recalls tuberculosis scare of rural internship in college).

Me: …

(Remains lying in bed for another minute).

Me: Papa! Will you come here a minute?

(Papa comes to the room).

Me: I have a shooting pain in the lower right abdomen. That’s where the appendix is, right? Wait, let me Google!

(Papa tries to get a word between)

Me: Yes, see it’s on the right side! But wait, what’s this about appendicitis? The pain is supposed to start in the middle of the tummy, and slowly spread to right. Hmm. And look, it says that it starts with fever and chills.

Me: (checks forehead) Right. No temperature, no chills. And the pain started wrong. Can’t be appendicitis! And definitely can’t be anything more serious; that would obviously be too much of an overreaction.

Papa: Right… maybe sleep for a little longer. It’ll subside.

Me: Right.

Me: (Turns to side. Mild pain). Hush tummy! It’s not appendicitis. You’re being a humbug!

(Wakes up in an hour)

Papa: (Grinning) How’s the appendix?

Me: (takes a few seconds to recall) Oh, yeah. Hardly any pain now…