You Lied, Mother

‘Leaving the Nest’ by Siobhan Knox

You lied, Mother.

You said it will be easy.

You said the world was a beautiful place to grow up.

 

You pushed me gently out

Coaxing me to go a little more,

Just a little further on the branch.

You told me not to be afraid

As the wind swayed me about.

You lied, Mother.

You said I will not fall.

 

I took off, nearly toppling,

In what was a miserable attempt at flight.

The nest seemed so far off,

Its thought itself so cozy.

You told me to enjoy the sunlight on my face.

You lied, Mother.

You said the world was warm.

 

You said I will not fall.

I fell many times,

Hard on my face, flat on my back.

You said the world was warm.

It cold-shouldered me,

Its tragedies chilled my bone.

Why did you lie, Mother?

 

The world keeps telling me

That each time I fell, I failed.

It keeps reminding me of my bloodied nose,

Of my injured, drained body.

Is that why you lied, Mother?

So that I would be unable to see

My falls as my failures?

 

The world keeps closing its doors

Leaving me out in snowy, wintry days.

It teases me by lighting fires far from my reach.

Evoking desires of what is not mine.

Is that why you lied, Mother?

To give me this gift

Of warm satisfaction with my flight?

 

Your lies have made me blind.

Your lies have made me strong.

You lied, Mother, but I forgive you.

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Five Words

Day #6 of Blogtember.

Tuesday, September 10: Describe a distinct moment when your life took a turn.

Though it is extremely difficult to define life in a few moments, this one particular moment definitely marked the start of something new, big and important.

School was over. The entrance exams were done too. Results were declared and I was accepted to the university of my choice.

This is what my mother said when she came to leave me in the hostel.

dream

I’m not going to claim that these words changed everything, or that a light bulb suddenly flicked on over my head. I did not have a sudden vision of clarity over what exactly my dreams were, or how to go about fulfilling them. I made mistakes, of course. I had various cringe-worthy moments (still have them). There were various missed opportunities. But still…

Go and realise your dreams.

These five words were the beginning. I found out what I could and couldn’t do. I found new interests, new ideas, and yes, new dreams too. I found out how important it was to enjoy the journey instead of just waiting for the end result. Life at the university has given me a lot.

I love it here.

The words may not have had a literal impact when they were spoken. But they hold special symbolic meaning for me. They did not bring about a “distinct turn in my life”. But they were the opening to the new pathway(s).

I don’t do back story (usually)

I’ve decided to take up a blogging challenge. It’s called the Blogtember and it’s hosted by the Story of my life blog. Since, I’ve never blogged this often (5 days a week), I may miss a few prompts, but nevertheless, one has to start somewhere. 🙂

Here’s today’s prompt:

Tuesday, Sept. 3: Describe where or what you come from. The people, the places, and/or the factors that make up who you are.

Have any of you see the Disney movie Tangled? Remember Eugene’s dialogue? The one that goes “Oh, no, no, no, Blondie! I don’t do back story!”?

Well, that’s exactly what I feel like saying right now. It’s so difficult to narrow down all the things and all the situations in my life to a few that “make me what I am”. It takes a million moments to form up a life, a lifestyle and an attitude towards life. For the life of me, I can’t think of a chosen few.

Hence, this poetry, dedicated to my parents (I’ve started understanding the importance of clichés). They were the beginning of everything for me, and it is from them I’ve learnt the importance of diverging out and creating my own endings (or newer beginnings).

Where I come from

I come from rocks and rivers.

One metamorphoses

The other is ever-changing.

 

I come from fire and ice.

One glows proudly in your eye

The other soothes you gently.

 

I come from mountains and seas.

One is the pillar of strength

The other instils a sense of adventure.

 

I come from days and nights.

One looks at the jobs to be done

The other makes me pick up the pen.

 

I come from silences and sounds.

One teaches me the importance of few words

The other of connecting.

 

I am all about balance.